Wednesday 4 October 2017

TORY PARTY 

CONFERENCE SPECIAL


Jeremy Hunt.
Jeremy Hunt, who famously supports the idea that babies should be allowed to starve to save money has appeared at the party conference talking about how much more needs to be done to tackle childhood obesity. Unfortunately, he forgot to take off his Tate & Lyle lanyard first. (Tate & Lyle are sponsoring the event).

Boris Johnson.
Poor Boris has been terribly misquoted by the left wing socialist press, claiming he said that all that Libya has to do to turn their country into another Dubai was to "clear the dead bodies away".

The fact is he said nothing of the sort, what he actually said was "clear the dead wogs away".

Shame on you Daily Mail and Daily Migrant.

Fortunately, his fellow MP Nadine Dorries came to his aid arguing that this was  a "co-ordinated and mendacious" campaign by Remain MPs to discredit him. 

Boris himself was quick to point out his history understanding the true nature of totalitarian Muslim regimes, recounting his passionate support of Turkey's application to join the European Union.

Democratic Unionist Party.
One really important issue to be clarified at this year's conference is the Tory party/DUP relationship. In that, we can all breathe a sigh of relief as it has been confirmed that the deal between them is not a temporary one. 


They have already shown how valuable they are to the rest of the UK when they successfully blocked a Labour motion to abolish the pay freeze on nurses and emergency workers.

We can now be sure that the Act of Settlement 1701 will be restored, as will the ban on Catholics becoming MPs. Hopefully, we should see the Orange Order marching down Whitehall any time soon.



A LITTLE BIT OF JUSTICE


Belle Gibson, fake wellness guru
who has just been fined A$410,00
by the Australian court for misleading
her readers
Not a great deal of justice to be fair, considering the crime, but some justice nevertheless.


You probably will never have heard of her, but in her native Australia, she was a hugely successful promoter of quackery, making massive profits from her collection of books and health app.

She first made the headlines in 2009 when she claimed that she had a number of cancers, including cancer of the brain, spleen, blood, uterus, liver and kidneys, all brought about by a reaction to the cervical cancer vaccine Gardasil. She then went on to claim that she had managed to cure herself of all these cancers by using various "alternative" remedies including diet, exercise, colonic irrigation and other practises.

On the strength of these claims, she managed to persuade millions of people to buy into her newly created app and cookbook called "The Whole Pantry".

It subsequently turned out that she never had any of the illnesses she claimed to have been cured of. She originally claimed that her brain cancer diagnosis had been made by an alternative therapist although a subsequent brain scan showed nothing. She also claimed that she had donated much of her earnings from her books and app to charity but was unable to say which ones. 

One might hope that others of her ilk, Depak Chopra, Vani Hari, that bloody David Avocado Wolfe (whose posts plague my Facebook page) would suffer the same fate but as they are all based in the USA, probably not.















No comments:

Post a Comment